Did you have your life all planned out and then something unexpected happened?
Maybe a job loss, an unexpected pregnancy, divorce or maybe even a death?
Guess what I found out? That is how life happens.
Life is full of changes and transitions. Life never turns out the way you expect. Life will throw you curves and life will go on, regardless.
My mother use to say "Monday always comes after Sunday and Tuesday always comes after Monday".
It use to drive me crazy, until I finally understood what she meant by it.
Care to read more on this topic? I invite you to explore this more with me.....
Okay....But how do you deal with the changes and transitions when life throws you a curve ball you didn't see coming?
How do you make the best of it?
Do you go with the flow or do you go kicking and screaming?
Do you have a support system in place to help with the transition or do you suffer in silence?
Do you give your cares to the Lord or do you hoard them for yourself?
If you will allow me, I'd like to share a story of a major life transition that I knew was coming but didn't know what to expect from it once it arrived.
When my first born started high school it hit me that I was closer to a new phase of parenting and I was getting closer to the dreaded 'empty nesting syndrome'.
Yes the dreaded children leaving home to make their own way that probably most parents don't look forward to. We still had 4 years to go with high school and I still have one at home, but my goodness how did we get here so fast and I felt in my gut I had to prepare.
Before I reached this point of my life, I use to think "No problem, I have so many interest it will be an easy transition and since my husband and I seem to have such a good relation it will be nice to have private time together again".
Yes, I had myself convinced until...........it got here.
Let me make a confession to you, I'm struggling.
The truth is you will never know how you will actually react or feel about a situation or circumstance until it actually happens. Life throws so much at you that knowing where you will land when a particular event happens will only be discovered based on where you are (emotionally speaking) when it actually
(I hope that just made sense to you, it sounded right coming out but my writing is still a work in progress. Stay focused, back to topic)
Well I'm knocking at the 'empty nesting' door now, I'm here at that time of my life.
My first born is in his senior year in high school and will be transitioning from home life to his new 'of age' life, hopefully straight to in-state college and then plans for a military career.
I hear the comments out there, "At least he is still at home right now" or "You'll still have a child at home" or did you say "Don't dwell on it right now, you still have a whole year".
I suppose I may spend too much time thinking on this upcoming change. But it's still coming and I don't want to be caught off guard and then having to pick up the pieces to sort them. I feel I must prepare for it.
These past 17 years my main focus has been my kids and now I must find a new way to be part of their life as a new type of mom allowing my children to be the healthy self sufficient adults I'm tryng to raise them to be.
I am incredibly proud of both of my children and no I want them to be independent adults away from home, I want them to live out on their own but with it I'm sure it will also mean out of state as well.
And oh...the husband thing, yes we have a solid commitment to our marriage but like the rest, the dynamics have changed with the years as well. Our relationship has grown around our kids and once the kids are out on their own we will need to do the hard work of re-discovering our new phase of marriage as well, but that's for another post.
It was hard enough sending my toddlers off to school and then falling into my pattern for the next 13 years (K-12) of school age children, but now watching them leave the nest of home just feels so much more intense.
I had changes to make and transitions to prepare for as I began this new phase of dealing with grown children and rediscovering me in my new role.
I didn't need counseling, a therapist or meds (well, not yet at least) and this wasn't something my husband could help me with. It's not depression or an emotional break down.
What I needed was a different kind of support and someone to help me work through what I already knew was inside of me. I needed someone to help me see it in a different light all while supporting me unconditionally. No judgements in how I was feeling, no advice telling me how to feel or what I should do to adjust, no one telling me how they did it. I needed someone to support me so I could find the answers within myself. Afterall, this is my journey not theirs.
From this searching for help I stumbled into something brillant.
It's called Coaching.
I discovered coaching is a new growing service. I investigated more to understanding what type of service this provided. What I found is that coaching has become my salvation to working through this transition of my life.
I share more on this topic in an article I've written called 'My Journey to Coaching'.
I have resolved myself that this is just part of my journey in life and I will continue to talk on this topic as this site grows.
You will be sure to hear me talking more about how I'm feeling and working through it. It helps me when I talk about it.
But my real hope is also, that it will help you.
Whether you are dealing with empty nesting, new parenting or dealing with tweens and teens you aren't alone. We all have a voice on the topic and this is helping me to hear mine.
Now I invite you to join in the conversation and share your thoughts, feelings and experiences with your life transitions and we can support each other through the change. Exercise your voice.
Until next time........